The good and the bad

It seems like there is good and bad in everything.  Sometimes the good stands out more and sometimes the bad stands out more.  Right now, the good is standing out more at home (being a mother and a wife) and the bad is standing out more at work and in my church callings.

First, the good in my life.  I love being a mom.  It is exhausting at times and tries my patience a lot at night, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!  I love Kate and Eric so much.  I already feel like a different parent than I was with Kate.  I was stressed out a lot more with Kate.  I worried about every little thing.  I am so different with Eric.  I think that it is a mixture of Eric not being my first baby and Eric's personality.  He is so easy going.  He makes being a mom super easy.  For example, I remember having the hardest time when Kate was teething.  She was super fussy!  Eric's first two teeth came in without me even noticing.  He is so easy.  He does get fussy, especially at night, but he is so easy!!  I also love being a wife.  It is something that I am always working on though.  I don't know how I got so lucky to get Jordan in my life.  He deserves someone way better than me.  I don't want to give him up though!  I will just keeping trying to be a better wife, someone that he deserves!!

Now the bad.  I had kind of had a breakdown on Friday night.  It sucked because I was alone, well without another adult.  I am feeling overwhelmed in work and in my church callings.  I just have a lot on my plate and don't feel appreciated.  Friday at work was the tipping point for me.  A coworker of my volunteered to be in charge of the Science and Math Olympiad.  The teachers have had to do a lot to help with this.  I kept asking my coworker questions to figure out what I needed to do for the Olympiad and she never knew the answers.  Then on Friday after school, we had the Science Olympiad that the teachers were expected to help with.  The one coworker in charge of it didn't even show up.  Then the game that 6th grade got put in charge of took the longest because there wasn't enough supplies!  I was not happy about it.  I lost my entire prep that day because of it.  I also feel like I have to do all of the extra things at work because no one else on my team will do them.  It is so exhausting.  Being a teacher is hard enough just planning lessons, teaching them, and doing all of the grading.  I don't love that I am also doing all of the extra stuff that needs to be done.  I hate that it is just expected of me.  My team just thinks, "I'm not going to do that.  That is too hard.  I'm sure Lindsey will do it."  It gets exhausting especially when it is expected of me and not appreciated!  On top of all of that, I am stressed with my church callings.  I am in charge of Activity Days.  I do really like this calling, but it is a lot of extra work.  It seems like some of the parents expect me to do more with the activity days too.  Then the lady who is in the calling with me will just do the easy stuff as far as prepping for the activity goes which leaves me with all of the hard and time consuming stuff.  I am also the building scheduler for the stake.  It is like having a part time job.  I get lots of calls for me to schedule the building and some people get mad at me that the building is already scheduled.  I am just exhausted putting my heart and soul in both of my callings and in my job.  I think that I am most exhausted by this because no one appreciates me and just expects more of me.  I give all of this extra time to do this stuff which cuts into the few hours a day that I have at home with my two sweet children.

Sorry for the vent session.  I just needed to get it off of my chest so I don't have another breakdown.  I know that there are times that I love my job and I love my calling, but right now the bad is standing out.  I am grateful that the good is standing out in my home life right now.  I love my family.  I need them in my life!